Jack of Spades

My dear _______,

You wouldn’t just know ‘this’, so I’ll tell you. It should be known, though you will have ignored the signs, that I am weak. I know how this will hurt you, so let me make it clear. Now, I’ve said this before, again and again and again -- this must stop. No mas!

Jack has been jack-nothing for far too long… Longing to be other than nothing, more, nothing more. Jack chalks this up to jack, the one who takes your call. Jack waxing, you see, is not the problem – Jack is a symptom, made a problem, perhaps by an unreasonable, almost immediate desire for another than the ‘other’, any other, any other place – someone elsewhere. One can’t reason this, but Jack will try. This is where Jack becomes jack, becomes lack. I. Nothing will continue; everything will fall into decay – my own refusal of the moment… Forget it. Leave this behind, in the rubble of the immediate, the temporary, the moment that forms the “I am gone now” … It would be easier just to forget. I am certain you will find Jack mad in this, but it is the fucking truth… Pardon my French -- Jack apologizes.

jack continues.
And become tiresome.
jack continues.
And remain mysterious.
jack continues.
Already lost.
jack continues.
jack continues saying nothing.
jack continues without risk.
jack continues.
So, Jack stops.

Like Switzerland, Jack will not take a stand, which you may consider a mistake. A self-conscious, damaged, mad self-image. Only you would know. Jack can’t tell anymore.

Three predictions:
1. She won’t be able to keep the secret.
2. She will want to simplify things.
3. jack-obsession will destroy this.

When you are careless; Jack cares more, tears flow, and he only makes it worse -- my sorry Jack of Hearts. In Spades. Remembering the cuts; the willing wounds, and desertion. Forgotten daydreams.

Jack follows fancy backwards, toward uncertain ends … Imagining a future through the past … by way of … jack, and so imagines a classical future, recycled. Jack sees the future in the teardrop. Blinded by the impossible… Unexplainable fecula fills his mind.
So, Jack continues.

Love
Me!